Simplification: The Spiritual Formation of Older Adults

Saint Jerome, in his commentary on Galatians, talks about the time when Johnthe Beloved, Bishop of Ephesus, was no longer able to preach, teach, or evenstand. Parishioners would carry him to his seat in the church. Each Sunday hewould say to the assembled congregation, “Little children, love one another.”[1] Many years of leading, discipling, counseling, preaching, and teaching werereduced into a simple but important message of love.

Keep it simple is wisdom for any age, but it becomes the chief developmental taskfor people fifty-five years of age and older. Pastors and other congregational leaders will serve older adults well if they keep this stage of development in mind when discipling believers.

The following thoughts are shared out of a question posed to me by a pastor friend. What might older adult discipleship look like in a local congregation? Thisis my 30,000 feet impression of a context for ministering with older adults. This article is not an operational plan for discipleship, but only the reflection of a lifelong disciple of Jesus.

Simplification of Our Situation

Family

Regardless of our background, we all are part of some system known as family. Seeking harmonyin families is a path of wisdom. “The one who troubles his family will inherit nothing, and thefool will be a servant to the wise person.” (Proverbs 11:29) Fractured relationships within families are one of the greatest regrets in older adulthood. Regarding relationships, St. Paul admonishes,“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

Our roles change as we move into our older adult years. If we have moved healthily throughlife, we have come to the point of letting our children go. Ideally, we no longer give directional or financial support to our adult children. Parenting and grandparenting should be less stressful as older adults step back and give responsibility to adult children. However, studies show this task of healthy development has not gone so well for many older adults. Many older adults are emotionally and financially supporting adult children. It should be also noted many adult children are supporting their parents. [1]

Congregational leadershelp us to appreciate our diminishing parental responsibilities and, as needed, assist us in untangling the web of unhealthy family relationships.

Prestige

Many older adults work a lifetime building a reputation in the workplace, home, community, and church. Skills are honed, degrees are pursued, and resumes are developed to leave a legacy ofproductivity in the life. When retiring, many of those former markers of status are left behind. Gold watches, rocking chairs, and collegial best wishes often prove to be inadequate. Manyretirees find it difficult to move into the stage of life where being replaces doing. People become depressed when thinking about how to fill their days with meaning and purpose.

Congregational leadershelp us to understand titles and accomplishments areonly temporary markers along the way and not trophies to be touted proving personal value and worth.

Simplification of Physicality

Popular culture masks the scientific reality, beginning in the late twenties, our bodies begin to deteriorate and perform less effectively.

Instead of embracing physical decline as inevitable, we invent unhealthy slogans, “I am as good as anyone,” or “I am as strong as Iever was.”

Part of living a holy life is to affirm our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.

At each stage of life, we should be mindful of what we put into our bodies.
We exercise our bodies appropriate to our life situation.

We participate in service activities alignedwith our physical stamina and do notoverextend ourselves to impress others.

Congregational leaders help us to be mindful of ourphysical realities by providing healthy options forfellowship, service, and worship.

Simplification of Finances

The older adult years typically show a diminished income. Instead of having a modestly growing income, allowing for savings set aside for retirement, now older adults adjust to living on their savings and investments. This is an adjustment to a new reality often evoking the fear of, “Will I have enough?” If people have planned wisely, most adults should have a diminished but adequate income for their life expectancy. One of the greatest gifts older adults can give to their adult children is to have planned wisely for retirement so to not be a financial burden to their families. However, studies show many older adults have not planned adequately for retirement and require ongoing employment in retirement years. The problem is many older adults, for one reason or the other, do not maintain their income because they are forced toretire. High paying jobs after fifty-five years of age are difficult to find. Generosity to benevolent causes in older adult years may come in the form of estate planning rather than percentage giving from social security and pension funds. Scripture reminds us, “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” (I Timothy 6:7)

Congregational leaders help us to embrace generosity by providing retirement and estate planning prior to retirement years and sound financial guidance during our diminished years of earning capacity.

Simplification of Character

Character has often been defined as who you are when no one is looking. Many people spend a lifetime trying to become what they think others want them to be. In emotionally healthy older adulthood, there is the possibility of shedding this burdensome mantle of doing what others think and simply enjoying the freedom of being oneself. In moving to the later stage of life thereis a shift from doing to being. This shift from doing to being at times can appear as selfishness. However, this augmentation of character can also be manifested as mature adults living a life ofpure joy. Guilt no longer becomes the motivating factor in discipleship. Mature adults begin to evaluate time, talent, and treasure by what brings them joy. Out of an abundance of joy not duty older adults live out their golden years. The benediction of older adult years may be summarized, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Congregational leadershelp us to move frombitterness and vain regretsof unfulfilled expectationsto the joy of living in thegrace and benediction ofthe triune God.

Simplification of Spirituality

“In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son ofAmoz went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order because youwill die; you will not recover.” (II Kings 20: 1-2)

A couple of years ago, my four-year-old granddaughter stared at my face and said, “Grandpa,you are old. You are going to die.” Through her young eyes, she saw something many olderadults fail or refuse to see – we are going to die. Playwright Woody Allen once said, “I don’t feardeath. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Older adults need to be reminded, “Just asa man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.” (Hebrews 9:27)

To get your house in order is to understand the importance of arranging affairs, solving complexproblems, to embrace simplicity and the peace it brings. By nature, we are creatures ofprocrastination. But spiritual maturity is to embrace every season of life. God has placed withinus an inner momentum to grow, and part of life is to prepare for death.

For the older adult, the challenge is to maintain dignity and find meaning in each stage of life.Planning for life’s end allows disciples of Christ the freedom to decide and there is power in adecision. Older adults need to make funeral arrangements, establish a last will and testament,execute a durable power of attorney, create a living will declaration, and provide thedesignation of a health care representative.

Studies show conversions are not plentiful in this last stage of adulthood. Simplification forthose who choose not to embrace the Christian hope is often expressed,

• When you are dead, you are dead.
• One world is enough, I have no interest in a world to come.
• I have no desire to live forever.

While older adulthood is not a fertile field for evangelism, we are still called to proclaim theGospel in word and deed.

Christian discipleship in older adult years helps believers to think through their theologyregarding the hope within. Before senescence becomes a reality, older adults need to be mindfulof the meaning of eternal life, the second coming of Christ, the resurrection, the final judgment,heaven, and hell. These themes help older adults approach the future with hope rather thanfear. Simplifying spirituality enables older adults to confess with their mouths those things thatwill not be left behind. “And now these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But thegreatest of these is love.” (I Corinthians 13:13)

Congregational leaders help us to prepare adequately for the things we will leavebehind and to embrace with simple hope the things that last forever.

Epilogue: An Apology on Growing Older

As we think about becoming old, it is notalways what we thought or have beentold. The mirror on the wall does not liebut the calendar of the heart tempts us todeny. The mind can encourage us tobelieve youthful attainments must still beachieved. Wisdom is heeding the bodiescomplaints not merely living withoutrestraints. And with thoughtfulreflection, the mind is emboldened, toremind us the past was not always sogolden. Accepting a future with somelimitations need not produce fear orintimidation. For aging is neitherweakness nor lack provided we moveforward and do not shrink back. Faithfulliving demands our best and does notallow on our laurels to rest. So, when life’sjourney ends, we will welcome God’scompliment, “Well done, my friends.”